11 June 2017


Most of us make a mistake in abandoning our friends when we are in a relationship. Would you agree?

When we are new to the relationship, our friends will always be supportive. They will always let us spend time with our partner. They would understand why sometimes we would miss hanging out with them just to be with her - because they understand that our world now revolves around someone we think is “the One”. Hey, that’s what friends should do right? They would understand why we have to choose her over them most of the time. And for most of us, who thinks otherwise is not a true friend. Right? Opppps! But you are completely wrong!


To better understand my point, let me tell you that maintaining friendships is as much as important as maintaining our relationship with someone we love. Because when the time comes when you have chosen your girlfriend over your friends, eventually you will also lose her. But how? This is actually tricky. You don’t realize that by choosing your girlfriend over your friends, you begin to lose people who were genuinely rooting for your happiness. Every time you cancel activities that you and your friends planned  because you want to spend time with her instead, your friendship with your buddies suffers. Of course, they would understand why you have to choose her. But do this all the time, for sure you will lose your friends along the way. 



Remember the times you flaked out on your friends? Yes, those times when you sacrificed your friends because you want to spend all of your time with your girlfriend? Believe me, it will bite you in the ass in the most unexpected ways. While you are browsing Facebook and Instagram, you suddenly see all of your friends going out, travelling, and just having fun together. Their pictures show how happy they are without you. And then you ask yourself, or maybe them,  “why was I not invited?”. They answer back with “You are not always available. You have always said no all the time. So why bother?” Then it hits you hard. They are right. You have completely shut them down because all you ever wanted was to be with your girlfriend. Now, you only have your girlfriend. No friends . No one aside from her. But when she goes out with her friends and have fun them, you start to become malicious. Because you are so used to be always with her you begin to think that everyone he meets is a threat to your relationship. So, you try to make it up by getting to know her friends. Or make new friends of your own. But the truth is, you miss your old friends. You just can’t replace old friends who were always there for you when you were still single. Now, that you have become dependent, clingy and jealous to your girlfriend, she becomes suffocated by the way you act. In the first place, she never asked you to choose between her and your friends. She then seeks more time with her friends (because unlike you, she did not abandon them) and tells them how she feels about you being jealous and negative. Of course, her friends would come to her defense. They would definitely side with her. And when the time comes when your girlfriend pulls the plug, you are suddenly left all alone. You then remember your old friends. You want to see them because you are in pain. You want to have someone who would listen to you. But because you have shut them off, don’t get surprise when they no longer have time for you. They have moved on from you. They are living their lives with so much positivity. And inviting you back into their lives would only burden them. They don’t want you anymore as much you have forgotten them. 


I am not saying that you should choose your friends over your partner. It does not work that way. Life is a balancing act. You always have to find a way to keep people you love happy and appreciated. Having a partner does not mean forgetting your friends. Remember, it’s not all the time that you and your partner may have the same interests. So keeping your friends is still important. When you plan on hanging out with them, tell your partner. She would understand that if she really loves you. Love is not selfish. You might be surprised that your partner does not actually want you to sacrifice everything for her. Find time to hang out with your friends and at the same time do something fun and romantic with your partner. Remember, the key to maintaining healthy relationships is time management. And the bottomline is, there’s no choosing between your friends and your partner especially when they make you a better person. 


This is another style collaboration with my good friend Neps. She and I go back more than 6 years ago. My friendship with Neps does not really apply to this article but the feeling we portray to this photographs tells the story.

 Anyway, lately I have been wearing black. I don’t know why. Sometimes, lazy dressing for me is an all black outfit. I just know that I won’t look bad in black. hahaha The shirt I am wearing is from Giordano. I bought this pair of pants in Robinsons that I had them cropped for me. The bomber/varsity jacket is from Forever21Men. Of course, I am wearing my favorite sneakers from VANS. So, if you feel like you're not in the mood to dress up, go black! (wink)

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