NO BREAK UP IS EASY. Whether it be with a lover or a friend. It’s more than the sleepless nights, the lack of appetite, the tears in your pillow, the hugot playlists, and the “don’t- disturb-me” sign on your door. Because one can never be prepared to break up with someone you adored, treasured and loved. Breaking up with friends isn’t the easiest commitment to make. But oddly enough, when you grow much older you tend to make your circle small. You choose the people you invite into your life - whether they are good or bad for you. In doing so, you should remember that you have the power to choose who you let go and who you choose to stay.
It’s true! You can never be friends with everybody. Some friends are not always what they seem - or what they pretend to be - or you just don’t click anymore. But don’t worry. It’s Okay! What is essential is staying true and standing up for yourself. So when happiness turns to hate and sunshine turns to darkness, maybe it’s time to call it quits.
When do you say that it’s time to break up?
Maybe these signs might help you when to break up with a friend.
1. When you lose your purpose.
The bottomline is, you invite people into your life because they serve a purpose. They bring or add something into your life. Whether he lends his shoulder for you to cry on, he keeps your energy up when you’re tired, perhaps he reminds you to always keep your feet on the ground, or maybe he’s your walking and talking diary - Whatever it is that he brings into your friendship, and it suddenly disappears or changes, then maybe it’s time to move on.
2. When happy moments are replaced by awkward moments.
It is common for friends to hang out from time to time. We all live a busy life. So when you have the chance to catch up with a friend, make every second count. But when there is more negative exchanges between the two of you, maybe it’s time to leave. Friendships are supposed to be easy, fun and comfortable. When happy moments are replaced by awkward moments, and they become consistent, it’s a sign that you two have to let go of each other.
3. When you are watering dead plants.
What is dead, is dead. Sometimes, there are friends who choose to walk away without explanations or signs. They are people who choose to keep their feelings to themselves to avoid adding insult to injury. When you reach out to them and they choose to ignore you or show no interest to talking with you, then it’s time to give them space. Just accept that some friendships die. And watering dead relationships will not grow a new root. Instead it will only cause more harm to both of you.
4. When one sees you as competition.
Friends support each other. They are supposed to be each other’s cheerleaders and confidence boosters. But when one sees the other as competition, then maybe it’s time to walk out the door. Competition is good when it is healthy for both you. But when the bonds of friendship are clouded by jealousy and negativity, for sure it is time to break up with your friend.
5. When you constantly have to prove yourself.
When you constantly have to prove yourself to someone or you constantly chase someone who won’t chase you back, as early as possible, LEAVE. The true meaning of friendship is acceptance. You have to accept what’s your role in each other’s life. And by that you also have to accept that showing interest to building and maintaining your friendship has to be a two way process. Just like in any relationship, when one takes more than he gives and does not show appreciation, what you have is bound to break. Stop spending so much time and energy in proving yourself to someone who can’t reciprocate the genuine friendship you can offer. Trust me, chasing people to like you will only cause you pain in the end.
6. When you lose yourself in the process.
Are you happy? If your answer comes with hesitation, then it’s time to break up. You can only bring joy and happiness to other people when you are truly happy with yourself. But for any reason during your friendship, you feel like you are losing yourself, your true self, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate and reflect. Are you still the same person? Do you still hold the same values? Do you talk about people negatively? Do you feel like you’re being hypocritical? Have you become a better person? These are just some of the questions you need to answer. Friends help us build a positive character and develop more positive relationships. But if you are feeling otherwise, then it’s not too late to make amends to the people you have hurt. Including yourself.
7. When you are unhappy and hurting.
When you can’t fake a smile anymore. Especially when you know that you are not okay. Well what they say about “Fake it, ’til you make it” might be true. But for some, it’s hard. It becomes even more difficult when all you do is to be a cheerleader and a friend to someone you respect and care for. It might take you awhile to realize that your friendship is nothing but superficial. Maybe it is all for the show. But the simple truth is, when you grow older, you actively choose the kind of people who you associate yourself with. And just like a romantic relationship, when you do not take care of your friendship, one is bound to fall out of love. In this case, the only way to make things better in the end, is to let go and to break up with your friend.
TRUST ME! There is no easy way to break up with a friend. But at the end of the day, you have to understand that people come and go into our lives. Some leave without signs nor explanations. Some test your character. Some don’t realize they are hurting you. Some break your heart. And some just don’t care anymore. But always keep those who choose to stay.
I may have personally broken up with some of my ex friends. But I still thank them for coming into my life. I am not saying that they made breaking up with them easy. I am not also saying that it was their fault why we had to break up. I have had my fair share of shortcomings and mistakes. I am not a perfect friend. Never will I be perfect. It’s just that people change and our priorities also change in time. To my exes, not that their are many. Hahaha Thank you for the memories and may you find happiness in everything that you do. See yah! It’s small world after all. (wink)
ABOUT THE PHOTO
I originally planned to have my photo taken while it was raining hard. But unfortunately, the rain stopped when we arrived in the location. Thus, the wet stains on my jacket. I just felt like getting wet in the rain would mimic the sadness and the pain I felt when I was going through a break up with a friend. I hope you see it in my eyes though.
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