THE 30-DAY RULE AND HOW TO GET YOUR EX BACK

22 December 2017
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One of my favorite scenes in the movie “One More Chance” was when Popoy tells Basha about the 3-month rule after a breakup. It meant you give each other 3 months before dating someone new. But have you heard about the 30-day rule as well? If you haven’t then let me be your Popoy.


When my partner of 1 year and 6 months cheated on me, I lost it. Before he took a shower, he said if his phone beeps, read the message and tell him. In my defense, I have never opened his phone nor his inbox unless I wanted to connect to his internet. And so his phone beeped and I read the message. It was an unknown number. It said, “Naa pa man imong uyab diha. I can’t wait to hug and kiss you all day long.” ( Your boyfriend is still there. I can’t wait to hug and kiss you all day long ). Every part of my body was shaking. I couldn’t understand what was happening. Was I just dreaming? Or was I just indenial? But sadly, it did happen. I caught my ex exchanging conversation with someone else. 

He asked for an apology and I gave him that. He swore that it was just a text. But little did I know, he was still exchanging messages with him and were still seeing each other secretly. Until one day, he just said “we’re over and I don’t love you anymore”. At that moment, even though the situation was different and he cheated on me, I wanted to be Basha when she said “Sana ako nalang. Ako nalang ulit.” 

I still really wanted to be with him even though he already gave up on me, on us. Yes, sounds crazy, right? But when you love someone, sometimes we become so blind that we would do everything to save a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I did not beg for him to stay but I was hoping that he would realize that he made the wrong decision. 

All of my friends told me to get over him. But as stubborn as I was, I searched the internet on how I can get him back. I found out that there’s a 30-day rule if you want to get back with your ex. It said that for 30 days, there should be no communication between the two of you. You don’t like or comment on his social media posts. You should never send him a text message. And you should refrain from posting anything about him. And so I did all of those things. But human as I am, on the 2nd week I messaged him and said hi. I wanted to take it back but it was too late. 


I thought I could do the 30-day rule. But apparently, I was weak and desperate. I even got seenzoned. Then I told myself, this is not happening to me - I am better than this. I held on to what was left of me and promised to move forward. I deleted everything - pictures, messages, and memories. The less I cared, the more I became happy. I wasn’t thinking of him anymore. I wasn’t even counting the days. I kept myself busy by hanging out with friends and family. I was travelling more. I wasn’t afraid to go to the mall again because I feared seeing them both. I wasn’t crying on queue every time I heard a sad love song on itunes. And I was slowly becoming the stronger person that I prayed for. I was finally okay. Until one day while I was on a trip, I received  a Facebook message from a familiar face and a familiar name. He said, "Sorry."






Location : Intramuros, Manila

Photo by Kevin Mueco