We have all read about the different signs of falling in love. But not too many are written about falling out of love. When my previous relationship did not work, I asked myself a lot of questions. What did I do wrong? Was I not good enough? What could have I done to stop it from falling apart? These were just some of the questions that ran through my head at that time. Months have passed and I realised that maybe he has just fallen out of love from me. So I looked back on the things that might have been signs that our relationship was bound to fail. And these are the signs that I was able to remember.
1. EXCUSES
He starts making excuses when you ask him out or when you want him to go with you somewhere. He would rather stay at home and watch TV or he’d say he’s tired from work. “Kapag gusto may paraan, kapag hindi, maraming dahilan."
2. HE DOESN’T COMMUNICATE AS MUCH AS BEFORE
When you started dating, he would always send you messages before the day starts and ends. He would send you sweet messages such as “kaon na niya diha babe.”, “kita ta unya ha”, “kuhaon tika after work” and many more. But now, he doesn’t even send you a good morning or goodnight text. Or better yet, it takes him 10 hours to send a reply to your texts.
3. HE HIDES HIS PHONE WHEN YOU’RE AROUND
I always believe in privacy. I never opened my partner’s phone without his permission. I usually use his phone when I don’t have internet. Hahaha So when he starts changing his password without telling you, “kabahan ka na”. Why would he even change it?right? And when he starts to feel that you are being suspicious, he becomes more talkative to you. He shares what he’s reading on his phone to make you feel like he’s not hiding anything. But the truth is, he is. Hahaha
4. HE TALKS ABOUT HIS EXES and FINDS FAULT IN YOU
I really don’t mind my partner talking about his ex. But if he talks about them everyday and compares you with them, then that’s totally unfair. He begins to make you feel like you are not better than them. Sometimes he talks sh*t about them but you begin to realize is he just missing them or is he really over them? Adding to that is he finds faults in everything you do.
5. HE PUSHES YOU AWAY OR IGNORES YOUR FEELINGS
The person you used to know has changed. He doesn't listen to you anymore. He keeps himself busy with "what-nots". You no longer do the things you used to do together such as travelling or going out on a date night. You tell him how you feel but he responds with anger and tells you "kadaghan ba nimo ug drama", "OA ra kaayo ka", and "ayaw ra ko pasapota." Remember if he truly understands how you feel, he would listen to you and maybe compromise for the better.
6. HE DOESN’T TELL YOU WHERE HE IS OR LIES ABOUT WHAT HE'S DOING.
This may be the worst. Yesterday, he was so sweet to watch a movie and have dinner with you. He makes you feel special. But the truth is, he is actually doing something behind your back. Remember that time he started to hide his phone and told you he’s just chatting with friends, well, he is actually dating someone or getting to know someone new. Don’t feel bad. It’s their thing. They use and throw people away when you are no longer beneficial to them. Always remember, when they become too defensive, maybe it’s time to have that TALK.
I am not saying that you should believe in these signs. I maybe wrong. But save yourself from the pain. If you are already chasing someone who doesn’t even want to cross puddles for you, it’s time to leave my friend. There is always that one person who will appreciate every part of you. Who will not give up on you. And who will always choose you. Part of falling in love is also falling out of love. It takes so much more to make a relationship work. I admit I am the jealous type. But I am slowly learning to trust people despite what happened to my previous relationship. I am still a work in progress. We all are. I am not saying that everything was his fault. I also had my fair share of shortcomings. I am not perfect. Nobody is. But you know what, the best thing that I learned from failed relationships is you don't have to feel bad why things did not work out. Something better is being prepared for you. My ex is happy now with his new partner and without any bitterness, I am happy for him.
So take your time and enjoy the single life. And more than loving yourself, love the people around you. As Rania Naim of thoughtcatalog would say, "you can still keep their memories in your life without keeping them in your hearts."
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